Happy Sunday my good people! I appreciate all the love I've been getting about my first post via comments, texts, tweets, etc. Thanks for the support thus far. Anywho, I've had a number of conversations and experiences lately that have influenced this next post. It all comes down to this: Can one be deeply in love and still chase the money or his/her dreams?
Theorem 1: Money + Power = Respect
Theorem 1.1: Money + Love = Compromise????
Half of you are probably snapping your fingers to Theorem 1.1, but the other half are shaking your heads in disgust. Let me explain. "Money" is an umbrella term that includes high salary careers, entrepreneurship, Forbes list dreams, etc. If you fall into any of those categories, chances are you're starting to get worried that you'll be single forever. Your love of success and that green piece of paper trumps any relationship any day. Ok maybe that's not the case, BUT if you're under that money umbrella, you really don't have time to be invested in anything else until you feel you are well-established. Perhaps you want to settle down after you've traveled the world and have enough life experiences under your belt. Whatever the case may be, I personally don't think you can wholeheartedly pursue love and success at the same time because one of those things will be half-assed.
Speaking from experience, I recently passed up an amazing relationship to pursue my dreams. There are girls who would've killed to have the relationship I did. However, I am so invested in building my own financial practice that there is no calendar space for love. If love has to be scheduled, then that's the biggest red flag you'll ever see. Success and love both require time. It's all about deciding how much you want to give to each or which one you want to give all your time to. Right now, success and flexibility is more important to me. I want to be able to wake up one day and say "I want to live in Paris for a year" and just pack my stuff and go. Most people prefer the comfort of waking up to someone they care about or the sense of security you get from knowing somebody loves you, but quite frankly I can do without for now. They say if you have something good, you should hold onto it. I think that you shouldn't hold onto something good just for the sake of having something good, especially if you don't/can't reciprocate any of that "goodness." If you're not ready, you're just NOT ready.
Let me say this though: this concept only applies when one is in PURSUIT of the money. If you're already happy where you are, don't use this as an excuse for why you're still single. Maybe you just have some serious issues. Kidding. But I have noticed more and more women are single and still dating in their 40s because of the independent epidemic that has swept over us. People say that a man is intimidated by a very successful woman. I wouldn't really call it intimidated; I just think he wants to feel like a man 100% of the time...not when it's convenient for you. Let him take care of you when he's ready. It is better to want a man than to need him, but it's even better when a man wants you period. If you've reached a point where you're not even attracting anyone, then you've probably taken the money thing tooooo far.
All this to say that life is about risks. Sometimes you just really have to do what's best for you right now. Compromise can wait. If you're not selfish now, when will you ever get your chance?
"It is better to be wrong and in the bed, then right and on the couch." Sometimes we have to take a loss to recognize when we've won. Always put yourself first. Things will work out the way they're supposed to.
Thoughts?
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Brand New, Used, or Salvage Title?
Well, well, well.....I've finally jumped on the blogger bandwagon. For those who may not know me, my name is Shadavia but most people call me Davey. I'm a 20-year old college grad and Brooklyn native. If you haven't had the chance to meet me, brace yourself for this 5'2 machine of sassiness, humor, and sarcasm. Napoleon complex indeed. Anywho, it's been quite some time since I've written something for the public. I've decided to take my ideas from my Facebook notes and do some real blogging. It took me a while to come up with the name of the blog, but when it finally hit me, I knew it was perfect. The Davey J Theorem. I'm a lowkey Math freak (it was my major in college). A theorem is a statement which has been proven by a series of statements and has been generally accepted by society. Similarly, my blog will be made of theorems based upon my life experiences. Surprisingly, I've been through a lot and I've learned things that I feel compelled to share with you all. So without further ado, *cracks knuckles and proceeds*....
Brand New, Used, or Salvage Title. These three phrases should make you think about buying a car, right? You check out a vehicle's history report called the carfax. A brand new car hasn't been previously owned, a used car has had one or more owners and/or some repairs, and a vehicle with a salvage title has been severely damaged and deemed a total loss by an insurance company. Now let's apply the same thinking to a woman. Men have come up with an ingenious idea: apply the carfax to a woman's relationship/sexual history. A guy will meet a girl and if he's really interested in her, he'll check her carfax to see how many people she's been with and what quality of people she's been with. They want to know all previous owners, any damages, and any possible future problems. After all, no one wants to walk down the block hand-in-hand with the girl everybody's been with. This is the biggest display of men's loyalty to each other right after fraternal bonds. If you're a woman with a questionable history, you don't stand a chance once that mass text/listserv email has been sent out.
I actually applaud guys for coming up with this effective tool, but there's a small loophole. A carfax on a vehicle has a list of all owners and work done on it as mandated by law, so it's a credible source. A carfax on a woman consists of stories passed on by word of mouth. Now, if the world was the way we wanted it to be, everybody would be telling the truth. However, since a lot of guys have become the new women in society, I strongly believe that some stories have been fabricated or exaggerated. I guess it all depends on who the report has been requested from. If you ask a lame dude what really happened, he's gonna fudge the story a little bit to make it seem like the girl was a hoe/crazy/boring/whatever the issue is. If you ask a "live" dude what happened and things went sour, he's not about to compromise his social status for "some jawn." There's two sides to any story, and then there's the truth. I once had a guy tell somebody I was feelin him because I "replied to his tweets". I also had a guy hit up one of my old joints when things didn't work out between us to talk shit about me. He made up so many crazy things to the point where even my old joint was suspicious and called me to laugh about it. Grow up people. It's so funny how a situation can be manipulated (on both parts 'cuz girls aint shit either, but we'll get to that later), and then a series of false stories start circulating. If you're gonna utilize the carfax guys, please check with credible sources because you'd be surprised how many of your "mans" lie to you too.
On the flip side of things, ladies stop being buddy buddy with people and know your own carfax. No guy should be telling you something you don't know already and that you aren't prepared to defend. We can't help the rumors that circulate sometimes because people have nothing better to do with their lives except watch others live theirs, BUT you can minimize the amount. Trust me, I am no saint, so I'm taking my own advice as well. I'm overly friendly, which is something I'm working on. I also like to believe that everyone has good intentions, but sadly that isn't the case. Mixed signals are always a bad idea. Sometimes you really just have to be mean. A guy called me today and asked if he could take me out one day, and I had to straight up tell him no. Not now. Not ever. If you act a certain way, you'll get treated a certain way. Get the horny tweets and half-naked pics off my twitter timeline and facebook homefeed. Be careful who and what you text. That screenshot app is a killer. Stop playing the victim in every scenario. F it, we all mess up from time to time. Accept it and move along.
Fellas, you guys get so caught up in wanting to know a girl's sexual history that you forget to look out for the signs that she could be crazy. Next thing you know, you're in a situation with a girl who thinks you belong to her forever because she's only had sex with you and/or one other person. But kudos to yall still. No matter how many bodies yall have and who you've slept with, we still fall for you anyway. Can't live with yall, can't live without yall.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are."--Victoria Lownes
Lengthy, but I hope you all enjoyed. Perception is key :)
Follow me on twitter @_DaveyBaby
Brand New, Used, or Salvage Title. These three phrases should make you think about buying a car, right? You check out a vehicle's history report called the carfax. A brand new car hasn't been previously owned, a used car has had one or more owners and/or some repairs, and a vehicle with a salvage title has been severely damaged and deemed a total loss by an insurance company. Now let's apply the same thinking to a woman. Men have come up with an ingenious idea: apply the carfax to a woman's relationship/sexual history. A guy will meet a girl and if he's really interested in her, he'll check her carfax to see how many people she's been with and what quality of people she's been with. They want to know all previous owners, any damages, and any possible future problems. After all, no one wants to walk down the block hand-in-hand with the girl everybody's been with. This is the biggest display of men's loyalty to each other right after fraternal bonds. If you're a woman with a questionable history, you don't stand a chance once that mass text/listserv email has been sent out.
I actually applaud guys for coming up with this effective tool, but there's a small loophole. A carfax on a vehicle has a list of all owners and work done on it as mandated by law, so it's a credible source. A carfax on a woman consists of stories passed on by word of mouth. Now, if the world was the way we wanted it to be, everybody would be telling the truth. However, since a lot of guys have become the new women in society, I strongly believe that some stories have been fabricated or exaggerated. I guess it all depends on who the report has been requested from. If you ask a lame dude what really happened, he's gonna fudge the story a little bit to make it seem like the girl was a hoe/crazy/boring/whatever the issue is. If you ask a "live" dude what happened and things went sour, he's not about to compromise his social status for "some jawn." There's two sides to any story, and then there's the truth. I once had a guy tell somebody I was feelin him because I "replied to his tweets". I also had a guy hit up one of my old joints when things didn't work out between us to talk shit about me. He made up so many crazy things to the point where even my old joint was suspicious and called me to laugh about it. Grow up people. It's so funny how a situation can be manipulated (on both parts 'cuz girls aint shit either, but we'll get to that later), and then a series of false stories start circulating. If you're gonna utilize the carfax guys, please check with credible sources because you'd be surprised how many of your "mans" lie to you too.
On the flip side of things, ladies stop being buddy buddy with people and know your own carfax. No guy should be telling you something you don't know already and that you aren't prepared to defend. We can't help the rumors that circulate sometimes because people have nothing better to do with their lives except watch others live theirs, BUT you can minimize the amount. Trust me, I am no saint, so I'm taking my own advice as well. I'm overly friendly, which is something I'm working on. I also like to believe that everyone has good intentions, but sadly that isn't the case. Mixed signals are always a bad idea. Sometimes you really just have to be mean. A guy called me today and asked if he could take me out one day, and I had to straight up tell him no. Not now. Not ever. If you act a certain way, you'll get treated a certain way. Get the horny tweets and half-naked pics off my twitter timeline and facebook homefeed. Be careful who and what you text. That screenshot app is a killer. Stop playing the victim in every scenario. F it, we all mess up from time to time. Accept it and move along.
Fellas, you guys get so caught up in wanting to know a girl's sexual history that you forget to look out for the signs that she could be crazy. Next thing you know, you're in a situation with a girl who thinks you belong to her forever because she's only had sex with you and/or one other person. But kudos to yall still. No matter how many bodies yall have and who you've slept with, we still fall for you anyway. Can't live with yall, can't live without yall.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are."--Victoria Lownes
Lengthy, but I hope you all enjoyed. Perception is key :)
Follow me on twitter @_DaveyBaby
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